2 Corinthians 12: 7b-10 (NIV) Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
What am I doing? I need Your mercy and grace Father. This season is full of many struggles. I want to stay in bed and pull the blankets over my head. I try to understand what you are doing with me, but I do not. I can only trust that Your ways are higher and You only want the best for me. I long for Abba’s arms to hold me and rock me with comfort and peace. What am I missing in processing my emotions and letting You lead? Why do I feel the need to take charge when You have it all planned? I have been reading of Paul’s travels, his beatings and his imprisonment. His life was traumatic and difficult. My life is easy-peasy in comparison to Paul’s life. Paul was completely plugged-in to Your Spirit. He was consumed with spreading the news of Messiah. Paul suffered with an affliction and He asked three times for You to remove the torment. However, You did not remove it. Yet, Paul proclaimed Messiah everywhere he went. When I compare myself to him, I fall so short! I am weak in the flesh. I hear You whisper, “Daughter, you may not have the exuberance of Paul, but you play an important role in my Kingdom.” Our culture is fixated on instant results, immediate gratification. I need to be content when I don’t immediately see how You work. Thank You for hanging on to me always. I am grateful for Your grace, for life and for health. Help me to tune out of fleshly thinking and unnecessary comparison and tune into Your shepherd’s voice. May I be a reflection of Your Light and grace.
In Jesus’ name, amen.